John Camp is CEO of the Compass Partnership of Schools. He was formerly president of the Association of School and College Leaders, a headteacher and teacher. He writes:

I was extremely ill in my twenties. I was lucky to come through it. So I have thought very deliberately about how I have chosen to live, and what I have chosen to do. I understand that life can be fragile and that we need to seize opportunities. That has all fed into how I taught, how I was as a head, and my vision for the trust I now lead, too.

I grew up on a council estate in south-east London, and from about the age of 5, I would go out with my friends for hours - my mum would just tell me to be back for dinner. There was very little involvement from adults in my life during those times, and I went off all around south London with those friends. I think it was positive, both at the time and for who I am now. I learned a lot through that experience of just being in control of my life at a young age.

I love the book How to Raise an Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims. The premise is that we have focused on raising children rather than raising adults, and that if we focused on raising adults, we’d be much more open to children taking risks, building resilience, having opportunities. Children and young people are capable of doing remarkable things, and society needs to trust them to do them, without judgement.

We were a single-parent family. We had very little, but then no one I knew had much. I never felt poor, though. I was lucky that the state was much more calibrated to understanding that children are born into contexts that are quite challenging. I had free school meals, clothing grants, all my school journeys were paid for, I went to a really great youth club. That was the state demonstrating that it had an ambition that all of its citizens would flourish and do well. Much of that has been eroded over recent years, although I believe there is passionate effort from the education secretary to change that.

I loved school. I am still in touch with teachers who taught me. They never said, “You can do great things,” but they communicated that to me in their expectations of me. So that’s why I absolutely drum on about the fact that as educators, the messages we give to children have the potential to either empower or disempower. And I also say to people, “Your behaviours probably trump your words,” as children are really good at picking up on inconsistencies in what you say and how you behave.

We have no extrinsic rewards across our trust. I don’t want good behaviour to be seen as exceptional. I want it to be seen as the norm. And I don’t want children to focus on learning because they’re going to get a reward at the end of it. I want them to focus on it because they are rewarded by the learning itself, the effort they put into it and then the outcome. Some people don’t see how that can work, but it does work for our children.

I’m really fussy about details. I like being precise about things. I think it is incredibly important in education to be very intentional, because we are often resource-poor but limitless in ambition. Getting things wrong comes at a huge cost.

My mum instilled in me an expectation that you’re responsible for yourself, so you control as much as you can control. For example, she would have these little jars in the cupboard labelled for things like electricity or shopping, and she would put coins in each as she got them. And in that way she was in control of the critical things in our life. She knew we would have enough. I think I got a lot of that discipline from her, but what it has also given me is an unhealthy sense of trying to control or be in control too much. I’m not very comfortable with feeling out of control.

I always say to teachers and leaders, “You have to be predictable.” There’s nothing worse than coming in each day, wondering what you’re going to get from the person in front of you. If you are predictable, people feel safe, then they can engage with you, they feel confident about talking to you, and they can be the best version of themselves.

I’m not very good at celebrating success. I am just waiting for someone to pull the rug from underneath my feet. My mum always told us not to brag. She’d tell us not to worry about - or judge - others and what they’re doing, because that’s got nothing to do with you. Focus on your own business. That is deep in my psyche.

My mum died a couple of years ago. She was always really proud of me. But she never overly said so. She would always tell people, “Oh, he’s a teacher,” yet when I told her I was going to university, she absolutely hit the roof. She wanted me to go into the Marks and Spencer management training scheme. She needed me to contribute to the home. My sixth-form tutor helped me with the university forms - I told her my mum would not let it happen, but that tutor sent the forms off anyway without telling me. I got offers. So I went to university, but I stayed at home and I got a job as well. But if you spoke to my mum before she died, she would have no recollection of being anti-uni at all.

I didn’t have a father at home, but I did have great male role models elsewhere. They were really important. They were in the youth club. They were the ones who took me and my friends mountain climbing in Wales, camping in the New Forest, kayaking down the canal in winter. I always had a really positive image of men and what men do, and of men being as caring and nurturing as the females in my life.

I think you can absolutely believe that what you are doing is the right thing, but recognise that other people do things in a different way equally as well. You need to fully commit to your vision and be completely sure it is right or it will fail. But I am experienced enough to know that others with similar commitments to their own ways can be just as successful. The education system is full of fabulous people doing great things - different but equally impactful.

When I graduated from university, I went to Wales. I just felt that unless I got as far away as possible, I was never going to think differently to how I was brought up to think. And it did what I wanted it to do: it completely changed my outlook on life.

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